We don’t always live and operate in cancer world. I was reading through my old blog post and realized recently that 98% of what I post about is cancer related. It does have a tendency to creep into my thoughts daily. Why wouldn’t it? Anywho, Every now and then this thing happens. I forget for a day or so that my son has brain cancer. Life morphs into a normal ebb and flow. It is surreal looking backwards at these days. Then suddenly something will remind us that he is a fragile human with cancer.
The other day, we were doing our usual morning routine and getting quite frustrated with John John as he was not being very cooperative about taking his supplements. Tension was in the air. I had happened to be in one of these zones of normalcy. I was snapped back into reality when he said he had a headache and was nauseous. Oh dear, brain cancer symptoms cropping up again. *Sigh*
Really, were just normal people though. We deal with all the things normal people do. Laundry, dinner, children, bills, etc. We have ups and downs not related to cancer. Cancer just complicates the normal ups and downs. It has changed how we run our daily lives, but it doesn’t define us. I guess what I am trying to say is that cancer is something we live, yes. But, cancer is not our identity. It is something happening to us. It is not what our lives are comprised of.
My husband still plays an ungodly amount of softball every year. I still like to read a ton and we both like playing with the kids. We love to go places and have interesting experiences together. They are more important now than they were before, only because we have perspective. We know how things can change in an instant.
I will never forget the moment Dr. Liner told me John John had brain cancer. We had suspected he had a tumor. But, we had no idea how it would change our way of thinking.
That moment the other day when John said he had a headache. Suddenly we remembered to be soft towards each other. Not impatient and demanding. There was a shift in the mood and tension. Tenderness is something we had forgotten in the moment of frustration. Sometimes, were just normal people….
With Love, Faith