This morning we got the follow-up phone call with the results of the mri John John had yesterday. The news was not good. There are two spots that are tiny and lit up on the mri. The dr. thinks the cancer is back. the spots are right next to the original tumor rim they thought was left behind after surgery that they weren’t able to remove.
Its like someone sucker punched me in the chest. I couldn’t breathe. We were eating breakfast together as a family and as the tears started to roll down my cheeks, steve jumped up to see if he could hear what the dr was saying at the same time as I was hearing it. The world has been slow motion ever since. I keep looking at my sweet boy and wondering what to think. We didn’t see this coming. Every mri has been “no change” for a year. I just keep thinking to myself, I can’t see the bigger picture. God is in control. I am scared. I wont even try to be eloquent, I am terrified.
We are going in on Monday to look at the scans and compare them with the last set. I just need to SEE what we are talking about. I need to SEE tangible evidence of what we are dealing with. There will be another scan in 6 weeks to see how fast the cancer is growing. I was told I need to prepare myself for this scan. In our doctors experience, she said that in 6 weeks even a slow-growing cancer will be larger. At that point we will talk about our options. They will assemble the panel of oncologists once again for a general consensus of what the “options” are. In the mean time, we wait. We pray. We watch for symptoms of increased pressure on the brain.
Enough for now,