the 16% percentile

current mar of 2014 036

What on God’s green earth is the 16th percentile in fine motor and cognitive skills? I know I heard the words and explanation. But, my brain stopped at 16% and below 20% you are eligible for an iep. Which is a pc way of saying special ed. Yeah, we knew this was coming.

What can I say? My poor son had a tumor over half the size of his head. That means more than half of his brain was damaged. Horrible blow when you begin to think you have beat cancer and start looking at life. huh…

Ok, he is 4. We have time. But, I don’t know what to do with it.

When I know what needs to be done, I am an animal. I am a beast to be reckoned with. I will pull no stops out to accomplish what I need to. Come life or death. We WILL DO THERAPY. sigh, so…..

We are going from 4 therapy appointments a week down to 2. He has plateaued at much of what he is doing. I am extremely grateful that he has gone farther faster than anyone predicted.

I’m scared that he plateaued. I am terrified that this is what I must contend with as a mother. no, my child is not a monster. he has challenges and I am always scared of the unknown. I like to be in control. I want to help him be more normal. pshawwww….if that were a thing.

his challenges are his brain integrating what his eyes sees and writing them on paper. He takes longer to understand things. it seems to me the routine is the only thing that helps him learn new things. A new landscape of constant learning is going to be very slow for him. He has a memory like a whip. But, frustration almost always brings about a diversion of attention for him. If he doesn’t understand it or it’s too hard, he gets silly. If that doesn’t work, he melts down.

If he melts down, that is a whole other thing to stop it. He crumples on the floor and cries real tears. It’s a hot mess…..I am a hot mess at that point. who are we kidding. were all a hot mess at that point. me and the neighbors. Cause, we can hear this kid 5 blocks away sometimes.

it’s a thing.

Enough for now,



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