Tolerance vs acceptance

It has become very apparent to me that there is a concept I have failed to grasp thus far. It the concept of tolerance versus acceptance. Theres a huge difference.

I have friends that I long assumed accepted us with all our flaws and painful details. John is a loud, unpredictable, unruly child. Not even a year out from massive brain surgery he is a lot to handle. His behavior is ever improving along with his physical ability. But, he is a lot to handle.

I had little understanding that people were merely tolerating him. Not accepting him. He makes people cringe sometimes. He is a work in progress. It’s not even the same as the judgy judgy type of people who frown upon us. this is deeper and more cutting.

It’s the realization that having him around is too much for some people to bear. It is the realization that perhaps what he has been through is not enough for people who have been there to have long-lasting compassion for.

In a phrase. It gets OLD.

Yep, my life gets old to other people.

I often wonder what people think my life becomes to me. Old? Yeah. Hard? Yeah. Mine, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I take my blessings as they come. I take the knocks as they come. and in the end, I have no regrets. every situation is one to be learned from.

I wont pull away from anyone who doesn’t accept us. I’ll simply adjust to them and let them have the space they desire. I don’t want to be tolerated at all. I would rather be rejected. these circumstances are ones I have no control over. neither does my 4-year-old. I am doing my best to


but, im afraid that is not going to solve the problem. I am a package deal. I come with a husband and children that are not perfect. I am not one who responds to conditions well. It’s a take it or leave it kind of thing. Strong words, I know.

I take the people in my life as they are and make no bones about it. difficulties are things to be discussed not swept away, if they become a problem, we deal with it. this is a matter of how I choose to live my life. I like to chew on the problems in a community fashion and divide out the fat from the meat on my own. I am not afraid of difficulties or talking about them. until it becomes a THING. if it has to go as far as to become a THING, something is wrong. The end.

End of rant, Faith


3 thoughts on “Tolerance vs acceptance

  1. I love your ‘rant’ and you more than correct! We ALL have flaws and dealing with us means you take it or leave it! I too, would take the rejection over the faces and the adverse relation in body language any day.
    We continue to pray for your family and are so happy that your family enjoyed your trip.
    Remember, acceptance is not universal! It’s sad when one cannot take a moment from their own lives to ask ‘what if this was us’!

  2. I think the more pointed lesson is that i missed the difference between tolerance and acceptance. it takes a very big person to accept us with our mess of a life. I had thought that those that merely tolerate us and give us leeway because of john’s situation was the same as acceptance. i now realize that the people not willing to wear earplugs if my child is too loud and welcome us into their lives with open arms are not true friends. No one has children as perfect as they think. i believe my son’s disability is a catastrophic loss that most people just dont want to be around for the long haul. they are content to be glad its not them.

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