Hope Against Hope


I sit here on the eve of the beginning of what may potentially be another long journey with the mass in my neck, and think about why I have hope. Really with John John I have no reason to have hope. No doctor has given it. There has only been bad news so far with the exception that the cancer has not thus far grown in my sons head. What basis do I have for hope anyway? I don’t live in a candy sprinkled rainbow world. I’m not delusional. I am a normal rational human being.

Hope is based on a promise. No one promised us a thing on this earth (our promises are eternal). But, the reason I am different is that I have hope in the possibility of something greater than an outcome. That my friends, is called faith.

It feels as though God has forgotten about me sometimes. But He promises He will never leave or forsake me. Hope against hope. Being not weak in faith, knowing God is with me, I prepare my heart to have hope when it seems there is none. Tomorrow is an unknown. The scans on my neck are done. John’s next scan is this coming friday. No earthly person has given me reason to have hope for John’s healing. But I have faith enough to Hope in the impossible. God has given me this ability through His Spirit.

I have placed hope where it was meant to be born. It takes a strong refuge to support hope in the impossible.

My body feels weak. But my spirit is renewed. My prayer is for God to strengthen me. My knees are weak. So that is how I shall sit and talk to The lord. On bent knee.

I am fully persuaded in what God promises. He is capable. I have a running start on my faith and am jumping in headlong here. What God promises He is able to perform in my life is truth. There is no ceiling to God or Hope. Praise God! He is my strength, my refuge, my everlasting hope….

No matter what news i get this week about John John or myself. God is in control and I have Hope in what He has for us.

Love, Faith


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