Trusting God is a tricky business

I know I am not the only person on the face of this earth that has difficulty trusting God every second of every day. So, I am just going to roll with that premise.

You see, I am an imperfect follower of Christ. My mind does thing I do not want it to do. I trust God’s plan for my life fully….but, when I over think circumstance I begin to doubt God’s plan. This is the part where it gets tricky. It takes me down a spiral of unbelief. I become confused and am not sure if I am standing on solid ground any longer. Well, that just doesn’t work for very long at all. I think to myself at this point, “what just happened here ? I trust God.” “How did I get to this point today?”

I then have to pick up my stupid brain and reorganize my thoughts back into the correct order. God promises us that He will never leave or forsake us. That promise is the first thought that needs to go through my head in order to correct my unbelief. You see, I am not defined by circumstance. Whatever is going on in my life is not who I really am. I choose to not allow circumstance to become my identity. My identity is In Christ. That is who I am. I know God will never leave me, that is a promise.

Justice is guaranteed. Just not my brand of justice. Because, I am a flawed sort of person prone to anger, high expectations, and have a strong sense of what I think is fair. One day, it is promised, that God will wipe away every tear from our eyes. There will be no more death, mourning, or crying, or pain. The second promise to meditate upon when I lose focus. God is going to make it ALL right one day. That is not our job to worry about or do. I can put that weight down for good if I should choose.

That tends to be all it takes for me to talk myself out of the spiral of unbelief. It used to take a lot more. But, these days I have a lot of support. People who love me and care for me. I can trust that God works through them even when I doubt he works through me.

I see pain and struggle every day. Everyone does. It is very close to home these days. It touches me in a deeper way than it does most people day-to-day. Pain is very real and almost tangible in my world. But, so is God. I can not count the blessings. Or the way God works through the extreme circumstances I have experienced. I will try my best to slowly convey those to you in the next few weeks. I have a lot of stories to share. God’s hand is a mighty weight in the thick of any circumstance. We just need open our eyes. It means looking away from the pain and what is happening in front of us. It means adjusting our focus and looking up. Look up. Turn your head toward the sky and think about the promises that we have been given.

Today I am going to choose to not live in regret or worry. That is a sad spiral to get caught up in. Today is a good day. It is a day The Lord has made, and I will choose to rejoice and be glad in it.

Love, Faith


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