There are many stories within the story…..
What has kept me going through this trial are the stories that happen within. Yes, John John has brain cancer. He has been given a death sentence of 3 to 9 months….3 months ago. This alone is enough to make me throw up. But, God has a funny way of weaving our tapestry so intricately that we do not see the bigger picture. God has a bigger plan, a purpose. While I do not understand what that purpose might be, every so often I get to have a small glimpse.
When John John was in the hospital, there were many stories that will keep my hope of the bigger picture going.
One night at 11 pm there was a tired nurse’s aide who came in to let me sleep by watching John to make sure he didn’t get out of bed. She was an older lady whose granddaughter had come in at 11 the night before. I was so tired I didn’t even say thank you to the young girl. I just laid down on the couch in his room and passed out. Well, the night the older woman came into the room I felt her need pulling me to her. I said hello and smiled at her. I introduced myself to her and asked her how she was tonight. She was tired. And her story poured out. She was a grandmother raising a granddaughter because her daughter had overdosed on drugs. She was putting this child through school and working well into her 60’s and was very proud of the fact that her granddaughter was in nursing school.
I got on my knees and told this lovely woman my story. A story of murder, death, and cancer. I told her of my hope in The Lord Jesus and that I rested solidly on His bigger plan. (not that I am some hero) But, I sat patiently at that woman’s feet and reminded her that her faith was in something bigger than her exhaustion. That we were all serving someone. Whether it be Christ or something else. The woman was a believer in Christ and cried in my arms. She was encouraged and renewed by our 3 hour conversation. It was a moment in crisis to be a servant to another human soul that needed love and peace. Praise God that I could serve someone else.
There is a certain young man who is picked on a great deal because of his nervous habits. He is the last person anyone might attribute long-suffering compassion upon in a momentary judgement. I saw this young man grow into a man in the 5 weeks John John was in the hospital. He stayed overnight on some of the most difficult nights we had. When we received the worst news and had the littlest hope. He was there growing and serving us. He is an angel from above. His love for John was instantaneous and his devotion was very real. There were very few days in between his visits to my son and I am forever grateful to his testimony. He is what real loving sacrifice looked like in my life during those hard weeks. He sacrificed to be with us day after day. His patience and love did not die down after a few weeks. He really served us with all he had. He, in this circumstance, began to understand suffering. I believe it prepared him for what was to come in his next few months.
There was a young girl. She sent me an email. She said she watched us and grew. She never understood depth of faith as she said she saw in our situation. She said it made her reevaluate her current state and helped her to lift her head high and consider her own suffering to be small.
There was another young lady. Whom I Love deeply. I see much of myself in her young life. She said “I am like, what am I complaining about??!! People have real things going on in their lives!!!” She said our situation and what she saw made her realize that what she worried about meant nothing in the larger picture. She felt like she was woken up by this situation….God is up to something in her life.
There was the lady that gave my massage. I was gifted a massage by a dear friend. I went and it turned into a God appointment. The woman had many sufferings as an older woman who had strayed from The Lord. I encouraged her and ministered to her as I was led by The Lord. She called the church to get my name and offer me a free massage and a meal. She said I had blessed her and felt I had given her more than she had given me in that hour long massage. I encouraged her to go back to church and seek God’s face again in her life. The Lord called my name that day, and I praise God that I could answer when I was asked.
There is a dear friend that watched our situation and questioned God. I encouraged her that we can not see the bigger picture, but we must trust God’s intentions. We are but a speck in the grander scheme. We all know it is true. We have to TRUST that God has us in his hand and all thing work together for the good of those who love The Lord. She felt renewed because of what she saw.
You see, there is always a story within a story…I could go on all night. There are so many more……I have promised God to step through each door He opens for me. It becomes so much more natural and right as I settle into my faith. I see need and The Lord impresses compassion upon me at just the right moment. All I need do is follow. It really is that simple. For The Love Of God, Jesus Died On The Cross For Us.
Romans 8:32-32 31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
Upon this meditation, I know that God will give me His will, which is what is very best for me in the bigger picture. It is what is for the greater good of the bigger picture. I will take the encouragement He has blessed me with and keep on walking the path he has chosen for me. Praise God He has built-in these jewels in the sand…..I live and breathe this encouragement every difficult day I walk…
Lovingly yours, Faith