People in our situation go down real quick #8

There’s no way to articulate what happens in my mind in a day. I see death, life, hope, and the grave 1000 times….I wish I had a ticker tape coming out of my ear so you could tell where I was at any moment. 10 people could ask me how I’m doing in 10 minutes and the answers would range from tears to joy. I can not effectively communicate confusion. I am a perpetual yo yo…..facts, my son is losing weight, he is struggling with headaches, severe vertigo when it hits. The rest of the time he is OK. Moody, yes, particular, yes. Clingy, yes. Mean, yes. *sigh* you can’t parent away brain damage…..we accommodate his every whim. We tell other children they must yield to his desires. *what a hard ugly lesson* it helps him…..less aggrivation means less headaches. Less headaches means less worry. We struggle in our understanding of each of our realities in a day…we notice different things. Our emotions play upon what our reality is. Some days we live in bliss that nothing is wrong today. Some days were divided on how JohnJohn is doing. Some days we cry. It is hard to deal with our individual emotions, much less come together. I give steve a pass…..really, were all struggling. We don’t communicate our needs well, we are confused most days about what our priorities are, because we don’t know what they are until disaster strikes…we are a struggling couple of people in a very real situation.


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